I was talking the other day about “survivorship bias.”  I was talking with my students about how you only see the person who made money on the stock or crypto bet not the 10 of thousands that lose money.  The same thing can be said about houses, cars, lifestyles, partners, looks and everything else on social media.  It is not a good place to compare yourself with. I think this shows up in our faith as well.  We hear the stories about miracles or God answering prayers with a mighty “yes.”  You know you hear them told around the “water cooler” at church.  A mother facing a cancer scare while 12 weeks pregnant experienced a rare in-utero surgery at 19 weeks, resulting in a healthy baby despite medical prognosis. A widowed father prayed for a mother for his children and a wife, leading to him marrying a woman with children of her own within six months.  A child who was not breathing for 7–8 minutes and had turned gray, brought back to life and breathed again.  A server in need of money prayed, and shortly after, a stranger provided exactly $200.

BUT what if the answer is “NO.”  It’s still an answer, God still loves you and still has a plan but it may hurt to get that answer.  Where does your faith come in?  Do you only believe when God acts like a spiritual vending machine, giving you exactly what you asked for?  Or do you trust Him even in the dark, lonely places? 

Paul requested three times to be freed from his suffering, but God replied that His grace was sufficient, focusing on strength through weakness (2 Cor. 12:7-10).  David pleaded for the life of his and Bathsheba's child, but the child died despite his fasting (2 Samuel 12:15-23).  Jesus himself prayed for the "cup" of suffering to be taken from him, yet submitted to God's will to die on the cross.

I don’t know about you but I like these stories of unanswered prayer.  It shows how real the bible is, it doesn’t just show the best but also the bad, the hard and the ugly.  The Bible even shows that we can be honest with God about how we feel.  Will you forget me forever?” David wrote (Psalm 13:1). “God has wronged me,” Job said (19:6) and in Job 10:3 “Do You think it is right for You to make it hard for me, to turn away from the work of Your hands and favor the plans of the sinful?”  Although Job eventually learns that Satan has been causing the pain and God was not wronging him or being cruel. God never rebukes Job for his feelings. 

Mercy Me sings an amazing song: Even if

They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul

I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

There are stories of prayers that aren’t answered.  Jim Eliot is a famous story.  A missionary that prayed for reaching tribes of the Amazon River.  His team of 5 men flew into Ecuadorian Amazon in 1956. They met the Waodani tribe and were speared to death on a sandbar along the Curaray River.  Can you image the pain of the wives and children.  The but God questions.  Why? Why? Didn’t  you protect them?  They were doing your will.  Sometimes we can’t see the big picture of what God can see and in the moment of deep pain just need to cling to our faith, believing in God NO MATTER WHAT. Many years later the widow of Jim Eliot and the sister of another missionary killed returned to the jungle to serve as part of a summer institute of linguistics mission.  They established a peaceful relation with the Waodani and began to translate the bible into the Waodani language.  One by one the men who had murdered the missionaries became Christians.  Steve was the son of Jim Eliot and eventually became the adopted son of the tribe and brought his own family to live for time among them. 

I don’t know why God didn’t answer my prayers the way I prayed.  But I know I believe in Him and I know His way is full of peace.